


Hungary Times (AU!)

by yoursweetpeas



Category: CountryHumans
Genre: Depression, Eating Disorder, Himbo Energy, Loss of loved ones, M/M, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29616315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoursweetpeas/pseuds/yoursweetpeas
Summary: Hungary's life from his "birth" until today. How could he cope with famous historical events? What, or who helped him through his sufferings? How many times did he draw blood from himself or others? Could he find happiness even in the hardest times?This is what this story will be about.
Relationships: Hungary/Germany, Hungary/TR, Hungary/USSR, hungary/poland on and off relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	1. Our dear main character

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is a translation to (my) Hungarian "book" (that isn't completed either, I'm just cooping with author's block by translating it). Don't expect frequent/consistent updates, sorry.
> 
> Now, this is just some general/basic info about him, to give you a base idea of this man.

~Hungary~

born: 20.08.1867.  
mood: melancholic and mildly suicidal or horny  
height: 178 cm (5'8'')  
hair: uncontrolably curly

family (hold on this is messy!):  
(Maros-)Magyar Autonóm Tartomány (yay i got a translation! Hungarian Autonomous Region) (otherwise known as Székelyföld/Szekerland) - son (1952-1968),  
Austria - younger male sibling (1868-)  
Austro-Hungarian Monarchy (later mostly referd to as Monarchy) - father (1708-1920)  
Kingdom of Hungary - grandmother (955-1890)  
Habsburg Empire (otherwise know as Austrian Empire) - "grandfather" (KoH married him out of desperation of money and a royal family) (1100-1890)  
Austrian Pricipality (? I think that's the right translation) - actual grandfather (KoH got knocked up by mysterious man who left and never was seen again) (1050-?) 

relationships (a mess too):  
Republic of Weimar: (well, sane TR) (1890-1933) (technically 1945 but until 1933 they genuently had feelings for eachother)  
USSR: (1946-1989) (I won't get into details just yet)  
Germany: (2014-) (let's just say this isn't the healthiest relationship either)


	2. 1945

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> starting off strong, aren't we?  
> suicide and ww2 warning  
> also being forced into a different gender(I hope you get what I mean)  
> These ' ' thingies mark Hungary's thoughts

Hungary looked half dead, staring at the man who was walking up and down in the room. He could barely stand, rather leaning on the desk for support. He could barely breath from the tight corset around his chest. He hated the act he had to live in. That he was a woman, since that was the only way he could stand him. It couldn't be known whether his poorly taken care of wounds or being endlessly used up the reason for his tiredness. His eyes were heavy, he haven't slept in weeks. Outside the battle was loud, a thick dust cloud was surronding the entire city. 'Wouldn't you just die already, you fucking moron. There is a gun in your hand, just shoot yourself in the head and everyone will have it easier. You dragged me into this and destroyed me, I thought I could trust you at least. But you changed oh so long ago...'

"I need to kill myself, I can't loose. I need to do it..." Third Reich mumbled to himself. Hungary rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything. "But you need to die with me aswell!"  
"Excuse me?! No! Who would take care of your sons? You don't even think about them?!" He didn't have any will to live. 'But those two little kids have no reason to suffer. I don't even know them, but I can't let this happen... Even if their situation won't be better I can't leave them without any support. I need to protect them...'  
"Nein! You die aswell!" He flung his arm around him, and hugged him close. He pressed the gun against his temple. Hungary only swallowed. His short life flashed before his eyes.

'Grandma... I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you. I tried. But I ended up being a bigger failure than your own son. But what did I expect? I have let myself for him. Just like some toy... But that's what I am. A ragdoll, that has to be moved. I'm sorry. Really, I'm sorry that I have ever loved you. I should have been scared of you. You were always strange. But I thought nothing of it, we were children, and I really wanted someone to pay attention to me. I didn't care that you were older. I only needed your seeming love and support. To not only be a tactical move, as I would have been to my good, dear father. But I became exactly what I didn't want to. I knew, that this was my fate. I just didn't think that you would destroy us so quickly. Yourself... and me too...'

"Such a pity that you weren't born as a female." He whispered as he wiped Hungary's tears away. "But no problem, we will solve it, right? In the afterlife you will be a woman, as you should have been born."  
"You are crazy." He whipered in response. The cold pistol barrel shifted from his face. The man way stronger than him shoved him onto the table. He pushed him on top, while kissing him. He was rough and violent, as always. 'You are such a hypocrite. You only should accept yourself. But at least you don't have a gun in your hand.' Someone was shot, maybe a couple meters away from the door. Hungary pulled back become of this, completely breaking away from the nazi. 

"Fuck." Third Reich grunted, he took one last look at his lover, then got the pistol to his own head. He smiled, stroked the trembling Hungary's face, then pulled the trigger. His body lifelessly fell upon him. He wasn't sad, maybe only a bit. Was this really the end? Pathetic. But what will he do now? He was terribly frightened. He pushed the the dead body off of himself, then reached under the table for the hidden shotgun. 'People are coming. I can hear their footsteps. They can't find me here.' He couldn't think straight, so he quickly hid in one of the bigger cabinets. He couldn't believe that he died, it was a relief. He was uncomfortable between the uniforms, but it was still better than being outside. He hugged the gun to himself, just as if he was a scared child.

Someones walked in, and then they stoped. Someone heavier leaned against one of the cabinet doors, and then almost immediatly lit a cigarette. Other than their damp breath, he didn't hear much, but he was sure they weren't in their best mood.  
"What do we do with this?" A voice familiar to Hungary broke the silence. 'Who could you be, such sophisticated man? For fuck's sake is my memorie so foggy.' "I will cook him for my children." The one leaning on the cabinet pushed himself away from it. Hungary sighed, maybe even a bit too loudly. 'His voice is so hoarse, yet oh so attractive- No, I shouldn't fall for a random guy. What if he's a human? He would die from my side.' "What? Maybe I am not a little kitchen fairy, but I could manage this." "You are so fucking disgusting, commie." Another man barked at him. 'Now or never, Hungary!' Then he left his hiding spot. 

He smiled dumbly, while all the three men stared at him from the bottom to the top. 'To my luck, all three of them are countries. Or to my mischance? I need to sell myself, I can't be let alone, I'd die!'  
"I will cook for you! I clean and help around kids! Just don't leave me here!" He said grinning. 'I don't want to be left alone. I will do anything, really, take my word for it.'  
"Who are you exactly?" The huge man asked. 'Haj, how tall are you, for the sake of your God! I would even blush if you weren't so fucking rude.'  
"Hungary- uh, Hungary. What even is my official name again? I don't really remember..." He rubbed his temple. 'Fuck...' "I think I have a brother... But whatever! I cook, clean, teach kids and everything else!  
"Oh, so you are the elder son of Austro-Hungarian Monarchy." Said the shortest from the three. 'Why are you so familiar to me?' "Who he was planning to marry off, so he could have less conflics. But that didn't succeed." 'Ah, so from there...'

"So you are a housewife?" The enourmus man stared at his whole body again. 'Will he fuck me here and now, or what does he want?'  
"Yeah, something like that." He smiled nevertheless. 'Just please, take me with you.'  
"Not to be nosy or anything, but what happened with you mate?" The man who was the quiet until now pointed at his neck. 'Why did he have to do this? For real, he ruined my mood.'  
"Ah, that was him.' Hungary gestured towards the body, while the smile evaporated from his face. 'I can't even say his name...' "I don't remember much stuff because of him. He hurt me... brutally."  
"Oh, you poor soul!" Frowned the smallest. 'How better it would have been if father got me married to you...'  
"Come with me, I have a whole bunch of kids, you can cook for them for your liking!" The man in front of him expended his hand towards him. Hungary thought for a second. 'He will obviously overpower me from all aspects. Maybe he will even hurt me... But I feel some sort of trust towards him. I have no other choice, I have to accept him. What was his name again?' He shook his hand, the tall man didn't wait for another second. He took the dead man on his back, then started his way out. 'He even has a good ass-!'


	3. 1953

'I only need to clean one more cabinet line's top and then I'm done with the library.' Hungary cleaned the dusty wood furniture with huge power input and streching. He didn't stand too a stabil ground- he was on one of the shelves. 'If I fall, this is going to fucking hurt.'  
"Mama! Russia was picking on me again!" Ukraine rushed into the room, slightly sobbing. The skinny man dropped everything and made his way down. He hugged the child close, he loved them.  
"Shh, it's okay. What did he say again?" 'These two are always at eachother's neck. I barely remember how long has it been since I saw Austria... two years? Maybe three? Times goes by fast here... I'm a terrible brother.'  
"T-that I'm a useless little whore!" She sobbed softly. 'Where the fuck did Russia learn those words?! If I find out that Soviet curses in front of them- I won't do anything, really exept I won't cuddle up to him.'  
"Now, listen up, honey. You aren't that. I will go and talk to Russia, okay?" The little girl rubbed her eyes, and nodded. Hungary kissed her head lovingly, then set off to look for the boy. "How should I punish him? He never learns from his mistakes. He always hurts his older sister. No matter how much taller he is than his siblings, he is still the second youngest after Kazahstan.'

"Now, come here you little chicken catcher!" He janked the child's arm as soon as he was in sight. Russia swallowed hard, he knew he did something wrong again.  
"Yes, mama?" He asked as innoceny as the sheep born that day. 'This kid... will make it big one day.'  
"Why do you always hurt your sister? I thought we have already talked about this. I'm really disappointed in you, Russia. I'm sure your father won't be happy for this beheviour either." The boy immediatly started crying, Hungary has never seen him cry.  
"No, mama, I'm sorry, really! I didn't want to make you disappointed!" He wanted to hug him, but as a punishment, the adult pushed him away.  
"Then don't hurt your siblings."  
"I won't! Never again!" He whiped his tears away, then ran away to his room. 'I thought he would be more scared of Soviet, than me.' Hungary sighed. 'I will finish cleaning then make dinner. Now that I come to think of it, where is Soviet?'

He speedwalked back into the room filled to the brim with books. He didn't want to waste any time, but he couldn't let himself to do so either. He had a job to finish as soon as possible. So he climbed back ontop if the cabinet, picked up the wet cloth again and kept on cleaning the dust. Not much time later, he finished it. In his sheer happiness, he sighed. He felt huge hands under his armpits, then he was lifted off of the shelf. He was a bit surprised, but didn't say a word, sincs Soviet hugged him close. 'So... safe.'  
"You could have fell." He stated, why turning the smaller one to face himself. Hungary's feet were still far away from the ground.  
"But I didn't." He smiled cheeckishly, then kissed his partner. The kiss was soft, they have left the roughness for another time.  
"What will you make for dinner?"  
"Porridge." He answer quietly, while reaching up under the tall slavic man's ushanka, to stroke his hair. 'I don't understand why you don't like your hair... It's so soft.' "You know, it's the end of the month, we don't really have anything else left."  
"I know." He kissed him again, then let him to slowly fall to his feet. 'How much I wish I could stay between your arms... But there is work to do.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "chicken catcher" is a Hungarian phase (csirkefogó) I couldn't find any good translation for, you basicly adress a child who has done something bad this way.


	4. 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: vomiting (i think that can be triggering too, so yeh, better safe than sorry)

Hungary has woken up in the middle of the night. He was sweating and an urge to throw up. 'No, not again... Germany...' He tiredly knocked his love's hand, who has woken up from that.  
"What's the m-?" He couldn't finish his question, the older man ran away to the bathroom to throw up. Germany tiredly followed, he didn't want to leave his mate alone, not even for a second. 'I never wanted to become so corrupt. I ever started to hate the orange colour!' With a disturbed face he flushed the toilet. 'What the fuck did I throw up?' This wasn't the first time this happened.   
"Germany..." He called out, but his voice was strenghtless. He was a bit surprised to see him kneeling next to him. 'You are a good boy, aren't you?'  
"Yes, I'm here." As soon as Hungary cuddled to his side, he hugged him. No matter how much Germany wanted to gelp, he couldn't. So he had to watch his dearest suffer. He hugged him until the next amount of portion decided to come out. 'Fuck, fuck you.'

This went on for maybe an hour. Hungary mostly threw up water, with a disgusting orangish colour. He wiped his mouth, then drank some of the water his boyfriend brought to him. 'I can't vomit anymore. I'm pathetic. But at least I am alive.'  
"Can you stand up or should I carry you?" Germany asked tiredly. Not even his glasses were on him, thus he was squinting. 'His curly, messy hair is so adorable...'  
"Help me. I don't think you could carry me." He groaned, whole he tried to get up from the ground by his own strenght. But his lover was immediatly at his help, so he supported him to their bed.  
"I will bring some more water, okay?"  
"Yeah, thanks..."  
"Any time, Liebe." He kissed his forhead, then disappeared for a few moments. He returned with a bottle of mineralwater, that he placed on Hungary's bedsidetable. Hungary's eyes followed the bottle, that way he gazed upon his old lover's face. 'Soviet... Why did you have to leave me? Everyone dies from my side.'

"Germany!" He called after him for the thousand's time now. His voice was still as tired as before. The man just stepped back from the bathroom, so Hungary could stare at his body 'Boobs... Manboobs.' "Come here, baby!"  
"Comin'." He smiled lightly, then switched the light off and climed into his arms. Hungary slipped down into a laying position, from his previous half-sitting one. He hugged his short boyfriend tightly.  
"I love you, little one. I would be nowhere without you." He whispered into his ear.  
"I love you too! But... I am good enough, right?" His voice became uncertain half way through, as if he didn't know what he wanted to say.  
"You are the best little boy." Hungary sighed. 'Damn his head, that he loves this so much. But I understand why he seeks out parent confirmation so much.' For a while, he purred to him quietly, then he closed his eyes. He was resting, but clearly not sleeping.

The taller fell asleep from exhaustion after some time. Germany couldn't calm down until dawn, he could not even think of sleeping. He was terrified of the thought of loosing his mate, they haven't spent enough time together yet.


	5. 1952

"A BABY! IS THAT A BABY?!" Asked Soviet in a puzzled voice, while his partner held a little child in his hands. "WHOSE? FROM WHERE?"  
"Ours." Hungary replied quietly.  
"How." He groaned, and he scratched his hairy chin. His facial hair grew oh so happily, since he didn't have the time, nor the energy to cut it. 'We have sex and then you are surprise that we had a child- Too much of a man, are you? I can't wait to feel your harsh beard against my skin.'  
"I don't know? You did something- What even is his name?"  
"O, for it to suck down Lenin's dick!" Soviet hit his temple. "Hungarian Autonomous Region. In Trasylvania, or where, in Romania."  
"FINALLY! SUCK ME DOWN ROMANIA!" Hungary exclamed happily. "I will teach you how to brew pálinka, little one."  
"...He was just born today-"  
"It's never too early to start teaching them!" He smiled with joy. 'Dad only taught me that...' He petted his child's blue, curly hair, then handed him to his partner.

"Well, I got another son." He thought out loudly, while he looked at longingly. "From what will I provide for him? A half-dead moth?" 'Money, that's always the problem.'  
"I have no clue, but we will manage."  
"You know, my dear, that will never be so easy."  
"How could I not know? But you are smart, and I'm persistent. We will manage."  
"I hope." Then he returned his attention to his little son. "You will become a pretty little man, won't you?"

\- Papa, Mama! Orosz megint bántja Ukrajnát! -rohant oda hozzájuk Kazahsztán bukdácsolva. Meglepődött a kis kék jövevény láttán.- Baba? Ő ki?  
"Papa! Mama! Russia is hurting Ukrain again!" Kazahstan ran in, with stumblimg steps. His eyes widend at the blue little kid. "Baby? Who is that?"

"Your little brother." Soviet smiled lightly. The young country almost jumped out of his skin. His little gold wings flapped happily. 'Kazahstan has always been the sweetesf out of all kids. He is so innocent and cubbish. But he will grow out of it, I'm sure."  
"Can I hold him?"  
"Only carefully." Hungary remarked, and Soviet handed him their little child.  
"Hi... whatever your name is! I am your brother!"  
"His name is Hungarian Autonomous Region- Or Autonomy, for short." Hungary explained.  
"Why can't we just call him Hungary?"  
"Little one, that's mama's name." Soviet rumbled, while he took back his child.  
"Oh. I will tell this to the others!"  
"Sure, ho ahead." With the nod of his ''mother'', he disappeard.

"I will take care of them. I will let you cook, since that never really worked out for me."  
"Thank you, Soviet." He nodded towards him, then left for the kitchen, to start making their bit bland lunch.


	6. 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: suicide attempt  
> Trust me, their relationship was even worse than this😭

'He is working again? Why am I even with him? Do I even love him? I mean... it feels really good when he pays attention to me, sex is fenomenal too. But we are just so different. I can't drag him out of home. Partying together never even comes to the question. But it's so good to come home and cuddle with him. According to that, I love him right? But my blood is chasing me so much. Without me he could have killed himself, even Austria have said it.'

"Germany, I will go drinking with the boys, I will come back before two!" Hungary nodded towards his partner, who looked up from his computure for a split second.   
"Take care..." He replied quietly and in a sad tone. Hungary didn't think much about it, maybe he was tired, since it was Friday night.

He would have never thought that with his behaviour he is driving Germany into insanity so much, that he can't take if anymore

In the small bar, Hungary drank carelessly and flirted with Poland. Their friendship was always between romantic and friendly, and Hungary always liked to tense the borders. And Poland always fancied his closest friend, even if he didn't admitted it to even himself.

They were both drunk, thus their kissing competition in the corner didn't bother anyone. It wasn't like this was the first time it happened: Hungary has been doing this with his dear friends for months now. Everyone knew that he wasn't a saint, but they wouldn't have thought he would do this to Germany with such a calm heart. The poor man has been doing everything to please him for the past years, so much that even his eating disorder concurned him. But Hungary saved him. Loved him and fed him well. Maybe for three months everything went well. Everyone thought their life was going well.

The long haired man suddenly had a bad feeling hit his chest. The time was around midnight. He didn't know what was wrong. It wasn't his conscience- he still wanted those kisses from his best friend. Rather, it was like he was in the wrong place, and with that he would commit a fatal mistake. 'What is going on with me? I need to go. My place isn't here.' Without a word he tossed his friend out of his lap, then started walking as straight as he could.

'Fuck this cold.' As soon as he stepped out the door, the cold wind of September. He slumbered against the wall, and after a while of searching through his pockets, he lit a cigarett. 'What am I doing? I'm not sane.' He started walking up and down, while his chest was becoming thighter and thighter, but not from the smoke. He thought frustratedly. 'What is my problem? Everything was well. What in the name of the unholy fuck?!' Then he rememberd. 'Germany.' Something happened to Germany, he definitely felt it.

As well as he could, he started walking. It was a good thing that he would always walk. He threw away the ciggaret bud somewhere half way, his pain and growing worry made his mind clear. His hand was awfully shaking while he was trying to force the key into the lock. But as soon as he managed, he saw the skinny man lay on the floor with a loss of consciousness. The beer cans and multiple types of empty medicine packages made it clear what he attempted. 'He couldn't have died! His economy is stable!' But that didn't matter, he called the ambulance. His chest hurt, as if his ribs were trying to compress his organs. He felt so empty. That was when he realised that how much he loved the german.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, that I'm such an idiot, worst scum of the world." He begged, even if he knew, no one will forgive him. He put his head into his thigh, and held his hands. He didn't even try to hold back his tears. "I'm going to change. I'm going to cut out Poland from my romantic life, and only be yours. Just let me back next to you, and not leave me. You don't even need to forgive me! I will take care of you, better than my own eye's sight! Just don't leave me alone!" His voice cracked then went quiet, only his heart wretching sobs could be heard. He didn't want to hurt him, he didn't want to put him into this position.

The rest of the night was only dizzy pictures from then on. He was sitting in the ambulance, then in the waiting room. He couldn't sleep, even if he was exhausted- he just silently cried in the completly empty place. It has took an hour for them to clean out Germany's bowel and let Hungary into the room. He ran in there, even if he knew he caused fhis and Germany was asleep. He pulled an unbelievably uncomfortable chair next to him, then rested his head on his partner's chest. He put his lover's hand onto his head, and with the sound of his heart beating he slowly clamed down and fell asleep.

The next morning became a really sharp memory in his mind. Hungary woke up to someone caressing his head. He didn' bother to open his eyes, he was tired and everything hurt. 'What happened? Where am I?' As soon as he smelt the hospital's well recogniseable scent, every came crashing down on him. 'Germany!' His eyes shot wide open, and looked up to the country who looked tired, yet still had a smile on his face and kept on caressing his hair.

"I'm sorry, Germany! I'm so sorry that I'm such a fucking animal! I shouldn't have even thought about something like that, and I was doing it every week! I won't ask for your forgiveness, I can't do that, it's unforgivable what I did, just- just don't send me away!" His voice stumbled, since his boyfriend was still looking at him so lovingly no matter what he said. "I don't worth anything without you! I'm terrible, always think of myself and I didn't even realise how much more you mean to me than anyone else does! I love you, Germany! I only love you!" He felt absolutely humaliated, but he couldn't stop sobbing. His tears flowed, he chocked on air, but he was looking at his lover's face for a few more minutes, hoping to see a change in his expression. But he didn't, he was still just as kind as before. Only a small tear excaped his eye.

"I never blamed you. You make me live, only your absence overcame me." He mumbled softly and precisely, just as he always talks. He opened his arms; he wished nothing more than just to tightly hug his only one. 'I don't deserve you. I never deserve you, but you still want me. And I want you.' Hungary cuddled up to him, holding his lover's weak body close. "I love you, you moron."


	7. 1990

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl, this was one of the very few chapters that made me shed a tear or two:,( so prepare some tissues, you may never know

"GO AWAY!" Soviet shouted him for the fifth time. But Hungary was stubborn, and leaving his partner never sat right with him. 'Why do you want to send me away? I didn't do anything! I know, we argue a lot, but-'  
"I won't go." He stated calmly, folding his arms. "Soviet, you can't send me away."  
"Why are you this difficult?!" He groaned. "You have already left me politically. You need to go."  
"I don't care. Soviet, I love you, what the fuck is your problem? You couldn't even feed your kids without me! Your economy is falling apart in front of your eyes, and you do nothing against it!" Hungary didn't care anymore, he was going to throw everything at his head.  
"The cold war is nothing for you?!"  
"That doesn't help the people, it's just your maximalist face wanting to outshine even the USA! That's why everyone fucking dies!"  
"Can't you decide if I'm a maximalist or a lazy pig?"  
"You are both, at the same time!" He tightened his arms. To this remark, the Slav stood up from his chair, and stood frightingly close to him, but Hungary didn't even flinch.  
"You shouldn't want to play with fire, you shouldn't want because a bad word and it will be over for your little country!"  
"Highlight that it's small, just as much as you want! It doesn't even hurt!" Hungary didn't know if he wanted to make himself belive that or he only meant that sarcastically.  
"You want to cry about your treaty again? It's very fucking boring."  
"For me, your finances are boring, but you won't hear a word from me about those!"  
"Because you are a gawky, very weak little lady!" Soviet knew, what hurts Hungary the most. He knew, that with this, he stabs into his soul. But the smaller country didn't want to break out sobbing, even if his body requested so. He held back his tears, and just stood there, in heavy silence.

Russia walked out of his room drunkishly. To his bad luck, he didn't find a good time to wake up, but to some degree he was woken up by the argument. He drank again the previous night, it wasn't a small portion either, but he vomited most of it out already. Still, the taste of alcohol stayed in his mouth and burned his throat. The objective of his journey to the kitchen was to ask his ''mother'' to brew him some meat soup, to cure his hangover. But as soon as he stepped into the dining room, he saw that the atmosphere was more tense than ever, and it was possible, that his father would beat Hungary. He cursed at him, which wasn't new, but he never did it in such extent. Russia wasn't scare of his father, and knew that he could protect himself against him. He grew up to be a strong, nicely cuz young man.

Russia stood behind his father, which turned out to be a big mistake. His father had no chance to notice him, and he was startled by the second he started talking.  
"Papa, what are you arguing-"  
He had something to ask, but Soviet turned on his heel and shoved him against the wall. Russia made a small noise of pain, the plaster on the wall cracked behind him. He just sat there, back to the wall, he couldn't even move.

"What are you doing, fucking moron?! With your own child?!" Without a second thought, Hungary slapped him across his face. Russia dreamishly looked at the scene, he really loved Hungary, because he wouldn't put up with anyone's inhuman way. Before Soviet's hand could have moved, Hungary has already jumped away from there, and knelt next to his stepson. Russia still didn't know his world, he just dumbly smiled at Hungary.

"Are you alright, my little Russia?" He acted motherly with him, as much as his short time let him. He held his face between his palms, looking at his eyes.  
"Yes, mama, everything is okay." Russia smiled a bit more lively, then stood up. He held out his hand to Hungary, and helped him up. Meanwhile Soviet sat back down on the chair, only to stand up again and pick up his partner. Russia didn't say a word, he didn't dare hoing against his father while having a hangover. His head hurt, so he just looked at them with sad eyes as he walked away with Hungary on his shoulder.

"Go away! You can't be with me anymore, got it?" Soviet was pissed. He opened the front door, then put down Hungary on the outside. 'But- you loved me yesterday, even in the morning. What happened-? Why did we get into an argument again? I try to stay peacful, but he can't hurt our children!'  
"You can't send me away!" He moaned in agony, as a tear made it's way down his cheeck. Many more followed. "I want to stay with you! Against everything!"  
"I know, but you can't stay." His pain didn't show on his face, only in his voice. Soviet bent down, and gave him a sour kiss. Hungary reached after his face, but Soviet slapped his hand away. "Go."  
"But-!"  
"I don't want to raise my hand against you. Now go!"  
"Where should I even go?"  
"Figure it out!" With that, he slammed the door on his nose.  
"THIS IS WHAT ALL THOSE YEARS MEANT FOR YOU?! I PUT OUT MY HEART AND SOUL FOR YOU!" He screamed, while banging on the door. 'Please, I don't want to be alone again, just oped that fucking door!' But he didn't recieve an answer. He wanted to sit down, cry himself back to his dear, but he knew, that wouldn't do anything for him. Once Soviet decides something, he is going to make his ends meet.

'Well, there's road upways and downways, I only need to figure out where Poland lives...' Shamefully, he began running straight forwards, with tears blurring his vision. He left the big house behind himself soon. 'I hope that he will calm down soonly. But there's no point for me to wish that. I felt so safe between his arms, safer than anywhere. I was a good housewife, wasn't I? I always cooked for them, from whatever I could. I even taught the kids- Oh, my poor little Autonomy, he didn't deserve death at such a young age.' As he rememberd his son's tragically early death, he started running even faster, and cry even harder. He was gasping for air, but run as far as his legs let him. 'No, I'm not a bad parent. I'm a very fucking shitty parent! Russia is already an alcoholist, still abusing Ukraine! Kazahstan still hasn't grown up, he still acts like a little child! And Belarus- well, he- I don't even know what's going on with him!' His legs stumbled, and he fell onto the ground. He didn't move, it was good enough for him to sob into the the dirt, the mud. He pulled himself into fetal pose. 'I deserve this.'

"Hungary?" He didn't dare to believe his ears. He looked up, to see the thought country kneeling next to him.  
"Poland?" He asked, while wiping away his tears. "Why are you here?"  
"Ah, I came to manage some of GDR's bussiness. Poor kid isn't feeling too well." He gestured towards his Trabant, parking close by. "But what happened to you, my dear friend?"  
"Soviet threw me out! I don't know why, but he sent me away!" And with that, he started cry again. 'I'm pathetic...'  
"Oh, shhh, there's nothing wrong!" Poland hugged him close. "You are better of without him, believe me!"  
"B-but! I love him, I really love him! And I have nowhere to live!" He sobbed into his friend's chest. Poland couldn't keep quieting him.  
"You can live with me. Come, I will bring you home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trabant: a type of car which was produced in East Germany  
> GDR = East Germany


	8. 1956

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, some historical event here   
> Tw: knife goes stabby

Hungary waited quietly, until Soviet fell asleep. His mind was rushing with the hopes of escape, the little door which opened for him not so long ago. 'Now or never. My people almost escaped, I can't stay here forever.' He slipped out from the other's protective hug, then picked up his carefully packed suitcase. He looked back to the sleeping slav for the last time, then he left, hugging his terrified son close to himself. Of course he stole the communist's car. Otherwise he had no chance to reach his own country. It was a long ride even with a car.

By dawn he was near the Russian border. The petrol was running out, but luckily, he brough more than one cans of it. 'I should reload- But I need to go, freedom is so close! I almost feel it between my arms. Haha! How amazing will it be, when little Hungary beats up the big and mean Soviet Union!' He grined to himself. He took a break for a few minutes, making sure the car had enough fuel to go, then continued his journey. 

The Rákosi (the terrible commie dictator of Hungary at that time) coat of arms was peeling from his skin and he picked on it with joy. On the next day it fell off. He hasn't slept for the past two days, but he didn't feel the need to, since adrenaline was rushing through his veins. He felt the taste of freedom. He felt getting free. He looked back at the sleeping Autonomy. He was still so small, so Hungary hoped that he wouldn't remember all this. For a second he stopped, reached back to make sure the blanket was covering him well. He rested his head on the wheel for a minute. He has to go, he has to escape, freedom was so close. He can do it, he is strong, he can break free. He pushed the gas pedal with renewed strenght. The Ukranian border was close. A few more days until they are back home. Just Soviet shouldn't go after him. Until then, there could be no problems. For a second he reached to the side seat, to bug his wheaterd radio. 'Which channel was Free Europe?'

Father and son happily rumbled on the terrible roads. Hungary made sure not to go near any city or village. They were doing quite well- at least to Hungary's speculations.  
"Freedom is near, my little son!" He smiled as they got out of yet another forest.  
"Freedom...? Where is papa?" He asked in a broken tone. He hugged his teddy bear closer than ever.  
"Papa... Papa stayed at home. Our roads parted. But don't you worry, things won't be worse!"  
"I miss papa." He whispered. The kid was near crying.  
"We are better off without him, believe me."  
"Papa!" Abruptly he jumped up from sitting, and pointed forwards. It took Hungary a moment to realise, who is standing there. The Slav was standing there, with a few border guards by his side, holding guns, but they didn't look ready to attact. Hungary couldn't have done anything else, he slowed the car until it eventually stopped. He got out of the care, but beforehand made sure to make his son stay inside. In the tense silence, only the mud slipping away from under his foot.

"Seriously, you thought that you could escape from me just like that?" His voice was deep and mad. "DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO CATCH YOU?! WELL NO! I WILL DESTROY YOUR DUMB LITTLE UPRISING TOO! But first, I need to make this clear with you. You should be loyal to me. Surrenderd, submissive. Not like this." He roughly grabbed his arm, and yanked him behind the little building. He was so close to his own country... So close yet so far away. Soviet pushed hum against the wall, Hungary was already cold. He didn't wear his coat. When the beastly man pulled out a knife from his pockets, he got really scared.

"Soviet! Don't do anything without any consideratjon!" He was scared that he would kill him. He stabs through his heart and he is over. Who would bring up Autonomy? Who would be in his position? But, maybe, he was the most terrified of the cold, golden eyes.  
"Oh, don't you worry my dear, I have thought about everything. I had time!" He stabbed out his right eye with such a playful movement. Hungary moaned in agony, his whole body tensed up with pain. He wanted to kick, to claw, but he stopped himself from it. 'I would only make my position worse. My one eye is already a big enough loss. But, I think, it's only fair like this.' Soviet turned the knife around a little bit, to make sure his eye was completely destroyed. Then, he striked again, in an even more merciless place. From his left scapula he cut through everything until his groin. Then the knife left his body. Hungary saw stars, he could barely make any noises of discomfort.   
"S-Soviet..." He mewld softly. He clinged into his neck, he was unable to keep up his own body. "Soviet... I love you."  
The Slav couldn't say a word to that. He expected everything, but not this. The tiny country passed out between his arms. Why did he say that? Why?! His anger turned into sadness. Why did he do this? Why with the only person who ever loved him? He felt guilty, unbelievably guilty. Now even his blood sticks to his hand.   
"No, you can't die!" He groaned to himself. He picked Hungary up, then ordered his soldiers to patch him. They put bandages all over his body, they couldn't do much more with him. But that was good enough for Soviet. He made sure to refuel, and fill up the extra cans too. He layed the unconscious country on the back seats. He allowed Autonomy to sit on the front seat, and the little boy lived with the opportunity. Of course, he asked about what happened with his father, but the communist only gave him evasive answers.

"Papa!!!" Greeted them Russia with extreme joy. It was clear that he stayed up last nighty Autonomy quickly disappeared into his own room, but Hungary was still fainted, thus Soviet had to carry him. "What happend? Mama??!"  
"Nothing happened, mama went on a walk and I took him back home." He groaned tiredly. He drove a lot, it impacted his physique. And he didn't even think about what he should do with the country between his arms. But he will see it tomorrow. He will see it tomorrow...


	9. 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hungarian pet names traslated into English are so fucking weird- And there are a lot of curses that I simply can't translate, so "fuck" it is...

'I hate to work, I really hate to. It has no sense for me to do, especially that Germany wasn't even here today to bring me joy. Like this... everything is so empty. But for sure the problem lies in me; I can't be by myself.' Hungary looked at the clock. He could go home soon. He only has half an hour left from his shift... but he dodn't care about that. He stood up from his chair, put on his coat and left. He shits on EU's head, with an arch.

"My little one, I'm home!" Hungary purred as soon as he got through the main door. He shook the snowflakes off of his leather jacket. He almost jumped out of his boots. He started to wonder why his dear hasn't showed up yet. 'Maybe he is sleeping. It's his day off, after all.' He walked into the livingroom, just to find the german, sitting on the couch with tears streaming down his cheecks.

"Why did you keep all of them?!" Germany questioned after a sob.  
"No- You don't understand. These letters mean nothing to me." He tried to comfort him, but he knew it was impossible.  
"Then why do you still keep them?! You got this one in 1980! Almost 40 years ago! And there are many ones that are older than this!" Germany couldn't go on with his talking, his sadness was overtaking his mind. As if his heart was being torn apart by each passing second. He just wanted to love Hungary. "You couldn't even write me one! Never!"  
"I didn't need to court you, so I never felt the need to write you one- Nor did I thought that you would like anything that I could have wrote... And I can't just throw away my previous love life!"  
"Of course, this is my fault too! Leave me alone!" Germany cried. With an uncertain move he stood up, he couldn't really stand on his legs, but he didn't care about that, he ran into the bedroom. 'You've done this well again, Hungary, congratulations.'

He sat down in the middle of the tossed around letters. There were so many Russian, Polish, English words, only to praise him. He got love letters from many many countries. While he carefully picked them up, he read into one or two, but didn't really bother with them. He shoved them back inside their box. 'He did the problem for himself, by looking around in my belongings... His curiosity will be the death of him. What should I do? This feeling is too complicated for me.' Hungary reached after his phone, to call his sibling.

"Hi Aus!" Hungary started with a sortof happy voice.  
"Yes, my dear brother?"  
"I made Germany cry- Well, he still is crying. Should I go into the same room as him, or should I let him calm down?" The country on the other side of the line sighed loudly.  
"Go, and comfort him. He needs someone to do that, or he will cry forever. Go to him, you dick." With that Austria ended the call.  
"Thanks for your help." Hungary groaned to himself. He stood up, straightend his clothing, then headed towards the bedroom.

"Darling?" Hungary opened the door, with a bit of fear that his partner won't be there. But Germany was there, curled up on Hungary's side of the bed. He sniffled quietly, already tired of crying so much. Hungary lovingly cuddled up to him, and hugged him from his back. "I'm sorry, my little one, I'm sorry."  
"It's okay... I overreacted." His voice was hoarse and tired.  
"We will talk about it later." Hungary softly caressed his face. "Now rest, and try to sleep."  
"You don't need to ask me to." A relieved sigh left Germany's mouth, as he turned around. He shoved his face into Hungary's chest. Strong arms hugged his waist, and they never wanted to leave his body. 'You are my tiny, only Germany. I'm sorry that I've hurt you, I never meant to. But I can't forget my past, you have to understand that.' Soon they started breathing at the same time.


	10. 2013

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: ED
> 
> As you can see, I have big authors block (again) so it looks like you guys will get a shit ton of parts translated, yey  
> Also yes, Germany is smol, because country's height depends pretty much on their ego lmao-

Germany watched with a frown as Hungary protectivly hugged Poland. He wanted to be in Hungary's arms! His heatache was worsend by his stomach pain. He will never be as skinny, as Poland. Germany couldn't see on himself how boney he become. His unmeasurable jealousy kept him going on and on: he has been starving himself for almost 4 days. He can do one more... he can. Or at least he would like to believe that. Even if he was wearing two layers of clothes, he still was cold in the heated office room. It was only early autumn- His organs cramped, in his agony he layed his head onto the desk. Which meant that he could adore Hungary less. Germany truly hated himself for how much he loved him. He has a whole folder of just pictures of him on his phone; he has been very obsessive about him for around 2 years. Really, at first he just looked up to him, then liked him a bit, but by then he was merely a child and only knew Hungary from Austria's stories. The more he got to know him, the more he fell in love with him. At the beginning he could hide it amazingly well, he didn't even have pictures of him, but by now he gave up on hiding this.

Hungary looked towards him for a moment. He noticed how bad he looked, thus he walked over to his desk with confidence. He tapped his shoulder, and the german almost immediately shot up. "Just that, that you look handsome today too." He even winked at him. Germany became even redder than before; Hungary always compliments him somehow each day. Germany was sure this was only because he does all of his paperwork, and nothing more. Since after that Hungary went back to Poland, proceeding to playfull kiss him and other things. But- but now Germany at least had motivation to work. His stomach was still in a knot, but that was completly overpowered by the hotness, that love caused in him.

Germany didn't even notice how fast time went by. Lunch break. During this time, everyone went to eat, so he had some time to smell Hungary's jacket, then lay on the couch and look at some pictures of him. Little happy part of his everyday routine. The countries disappeared fairly quickly, only Germany stayed in his place, still pressing keys. For one last time he saved the document, then he looked up. Hungary smiled back at him  
"Is there any promblem?" Germany asked shyly.  
"I'm just interested in what you do here. You never come down to eat." So he pays attention to him? "You overwork yourself, papuskám. You don't need to do my work too."  
"I'm not giving up on that, I'm happy to do it. Really, I help you with anything." Germany tried his best not to stare at his face. But it was very difficult for him. Hungary was so close, he could even touch him.  
"Why?" Hungary asked back, doubting him.  
"Because I love you." He answered, almost naturally. Germany blushed, then looked down. He didn't want to say it, but it slipped out. Now he can't do anything about it.  
"Bad decision, really." He shaked his head, with a smile.  
"No..." For a moment he reached out to stoke his face. It was soft, he wanted to stroke it again, but didn't let himself to. "I don't care if it is."  
"Well, you know that." For a moment Hungary stopped, then extended his arm towards him. "Say, can you dance?"  
"Not really." Germany said sourly. Maybe Hungary wanted to dance with him. He made a mistake just now.  
"Not a problem, I will teach you." He smiled kindly at him. He smiled... somehow differently than on the photos. As if he was truly happy for him. Germany grabbed his hand, and let Hungary to pull him up. He got around the tavle, to stand face-to-face with him. His legs froze, it has been so long since he was that close to him.  
"But I really mean that I can't dance." Maybe he could save himself from the situation. But he still didn't want Hungary to give up. He wanted to dance with him... or to do anything with him.  
"I will teach you, I said so! Waltz isn't so difficult, don't you worry. I will help." He grinned as he grabbed his waist. For a moment Hungary's expression became surprised, he just found out how skinny is the country standing in front of him. But he forced the smile back onto his face, as he tightened his grasp. He wanted to encourage him, that there was no problem, and he was with him. Germany became a bit more sure of himself, so he put his hand on top of his shoulder with a bit more trust. But he didn't dare to hand his other palm to him. Hungary understood it, he held his hand. With his thumb he brushed across his boney hand. He was sorry for him doing this with himself, but he didn't really know him, so he couldn't have known what was the reason for him to. But he wanted to make him happy, even for a bit.

"Now what?" Germany asked after a few minutes of just staring at eachother's eyes.  
"Step back one with your left leg, and I will follow you. Then you will step forward with your right, and I will step back. You will only need to do that much for now."  
"Oh, I can maybe even do this." He did as Hungary requested. The german moved like a really clumsy penguin, but Hungary was patient with him. He let him get used to the rhytm, the movement. When he felt that Germany was moving comfortably, he turned with him into the middle of the room. That unfortunetly had a consequence: Germany immediatly fell. His legs got stuck with one and other, so Hungary held him. He was light, too light.  
"There is nothing wrong, you are already pretty good. The man stumbles many times, but don't think that it will never go well." He commented as he put him back onto his feet. They picked up the starting position, then continued their sortof slow dance. Germany found his spirit quite soon, with every movement he became more sure of himself, and he didn't stumble, even when turning or spinning.

"Awh, look at that, Hungary is in love!" Slovakia whispered to Poland, who was standing next to her. They were standing in the door, and spying on how they danced. Their symphony was obvoius, even from afary  
"I can't believe this." Poland groaned to himself. He couldn't let Hungary being taken away from him, so he interrupted. With a wide smile, of course. "Hungary~ I didn't even remember that you can dance so well!"  
"I see, you have finished eating." It was very visible how Hungary would have wanted to still dance with Germany, only the two of them being present. "What? Do you want to dance too?"  
"Just like in the old days!" Poland grinned, as he looked at the smaller country, like he was nothing more than a dirty whore.  
"T-then I will go." Germany took his hands of off Hungary, being genuently horrified of Poland. But Hungary took some time to let go of his waist. He didn't wait until they began holding eachother, he just walked out. He was only needed until Poland came back. It hurt him, unbearably, but at least he was happy for half an hour. No one will take that memory away from him. Germany made his way into the restroom, he already had his own little place in the last cubicle. He lowerd the seat, then sat ontop of the toilet. He cried quietly, but by each second he became more and more angry with himself. Why did he leave it at that? But he was sure that Hungary wasn't attracted enough to him. So he just cried and cried. Then, he heard the happy music from the office. They were singing and dancing. While he was crying on the toilet, as always.


End file.
